Today has been a tough day for me... but also a happy day too!
I went to breakfast this morning with my Visiting Teachers, Susan and Jana. I love these women so much. They came into my life just in time.
One night the Relief Society President came over with Susan...had never met either of them. Susan and I instantly felt a connection.
The first time I called her I was sooo nervous, but I wanted someone to come to my Doctor appointment with me. So, I called and she said "Yes!"! We had the best time as we visited during the appointment..
She later asked the Relief Society President if she could be my visiting teacher and was told yes... so she asked if she could have some time to pray to know who should be her companion and Jana came to her mind.
Jana and I instantly hit it off. We have so much in common. But the greatest thing about her is how she lifts me up! She has a positive outlook which is rubbing off on me.
Today the three of us ordered our food and got into deep conversation. We talked about what a friend is, what a friend does. Which for some reason is a really hard conversation to have as I want to love everyone no matter what...which has actually caused a lot of bad things...including my PTSD as bad things happened when I let my guard down and trusted too quickly.
Its so hard to let people go. But as we change, the people we hang out with sometimes change too. I think its great to have people around who lift you up... no matter the religion...as long as they make you want to be a better person.
Its hard... very tough. But necessary if you want different things in life.
I cannot hang around people who smoke right now because I know I would smoke.
I wanted to go down to my parents last week but I knew that 4 hour drive would be too long to not smoke. I loved smoking on that drive...so I couldn't go visit my family because I want to change.
Thank you Visiting Teachers for breakfast and for the excellent conversations...you both mean the world to me!
Oh, BOTH of my Visiting Teachers had bad dreams about Gunnar last night...that he was taken from me. I am already protective of my baby...I would crumble if I lost him. Please Pray for Gunnar that he wont get lost or stolen!
